Sunday, 15 September 2013

Reasons I Need To Get Serious About Losing Weight

(Source)
The greatest, most important challenge of my life is about to begin!

Guess what? I’m fat! Yes, sirs and mams! I’m fat... and lazy! Ain't self realization a bitch?!? Anyway, during my second time in Colombia, I ate a lot of fast food, drank, partied, worked, lazed around, and did not exercise on a weekly basis. So, I gained weight! And the cycle has more or less continued, since I've been back. Whilst I've never been skinny, things have certainly been getting out of hand.

As such, about two months ago, I bought a pair of sneakers and started walking around the almost dilapidated recreation ground close to my house. Things were going well (I mean, I lost two pounds), but I got bored, so I stopped. I've been meaning to get back on the proverbial horse, but it’s easier thought than done. Then, I had the genius idea of creating a list, since I figured that if I saw it everyday, it would give me the kick in the butt I needed. So, here goes... 

Oh, and when in doubt, follow the red arrow! 

1) I constantly bite the insides of my mouth.

2) My belly is huge. No, GINORMOUS!


Exhibits A and B!
3) It’s slowly started to hang over my waist bands and belts. Not a cute look, at all!

4) My belly and my butt are almost the same size (I think my belly is bigger). If you've seen my butt, you’d be concerned too.

Belly in white, butt in black. And my butt can't even fit in the frame.
5) Sometimes, when I'm sitting, I can’t bend to pick something up off the floor or tie my shoelace.

6) Sucking in my belly doesn't make a difference.

7) My legs constantly rub together.

8) Said rubbing of legs has made holes in two pairs of jeans.


Yep, I did that!

9) The idea of putting my shirt in my pants terrifies me. 

10) I have trouble breathing. Like, I need to stop and take deep, deep breaths after over-exerting myself too much.


Like, after riding a bicycle for 20 minutes. Hate those girls and their enthusiasm!

11) I’m paranoid about the way I smell.

12) My favourite clothes don’t fit.

13) My boxer briefs have gotten noticeably tighter.

14) I have man boobs.


Quite perky, if I may say so, myself!

15) Even worse, I have cleavage when I lie down on my side.

16) I find myself irrationally hating people who are fit and skinny. I roll my eyes or call them names. Ugh, Skinny Bitches!

17) I don’t enjoy “pigging out”, anymore. I feel so guilty and disgusted with myself. 

18) I have to constantly remind myself that I’m an intelligent, good-looking young man, and that my weight doesn't change that. Pathetic, right?

I am good-looking, though! Ha-ha!
Making a list is only the beginning of the battle, I actually have to get up, get out there, and get in shape. I think I can do it, since I know that I can do anything I put my mind to. I hope that you'll join me, via my blog, on my journey. Keep an eye out for future updates! *insert smiley face*

Love abounds! Until the next post!