Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Night Time Musings of A Garvin: Growing Apart

As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever

- Vitamin  C

I haven’t spoken to my best friend in a week. Yes, a week is only seven days, but when you're that close to someone and are accustomed to speaking to them every day, a week can seem like a century. Although I know that he's busy, I can’t help but feel abandoned. I have so much to tell him and he has no time to hear about any of it. The fact that we're in the same country only makes matters worse. I have begun to ask myself: "Is this it? Have we reached that moment when we begin to grow apart? Is life taking us in different directions?" Right now, all signs point to yes.
I should have expected it, after all this has happened to me before. It begins after every graduation ceremony: the photos are taken, farewells are said, and promises of “I’ll keep in touch” are made. At the beginning, it's easy to stay in touch. Then, it gets harder. Life happens; you make new acquaintances, fall in love, and grow.
Maybe, we have reached that moment in our lives? I mean, we have just graduated from UWI, photos were taken, and promises were made. The calls were frequent at the beginning, but now, they are few and far between; verging on non-existent. I want to be angry, but I suppose that I understand. He has his life, his own priorities, his own world view, his own personality, his own plans, and so do I. Growing apart must be inevitable, so why not accept it?
Maybe, it’s a sign of more to come? Pretty soon, we will both be embarking on post graduate studies, perhaps in different parts of the world, and/or in different disciplines. Or worse yet, we fall in love, and only have time, energy, and credit on our phones for that special person. So yeah, this all makes sense. It is most definitely a dress rehearsal for the most emotional role of my life: Losing My Best Friend.
I end up on Facebook, choosing to quiet my thoughts by scrolling through my News Feed. I come across a photo from an acquaintance, and like a sign from God, everything seems better. You see, the acquaintance and the other three people in her photo have been friends for 14 years. They were a few years ahead of me at Secondary School. Once they graduated, some went on to University while others got married, had children or travelled. Yet, they managed to remain the best of friends.
It was an example that good friends never truly grow apart. I can think of other lifelong friends I have had the pleasure of knowing, like my Daddy and Uncle Bobby, or my Granny and Miss Judy. Why not follow their example? If this friendship is so important, I should make every effort to keep in touch. I have to accept that life is unpredictable; you live and grow every day, but good friends are also part of that journey. We can either grow apart or adapt to the changes that life brings. I choose the latter, that is, to share all of life's moments with, not only him, but all of my closest friends, as long as they will have me. A weird sense of inner peace has come over me, and I resolve to call him tomorrow, send emails to my other friends or post on Facebook walls. Wow, Vitamin C had a point!