Gosh, I hate the fact that pet peeves exist but the truth is they do; they're the little things in everyday life that truly annoy the crap out of us. I'm a pretty complicated individual and as such, I have about one million pet peeves. However, for the sake of not having a lengthy blog post, I'll just highlight five that come to mind.
1) DIRTY FINGERNAILS- Everyday I devote about fifteen minutes to my fingernails, these minutes involve cutting, filing and cleaning under said nails. During the day, I wash my hands and make sure I clean under my fingernails. I'm not saying that you should be like me, but come on, must your fingernails be that dirty? Whenever I notice someone with dirty nails, I'm immediately annoyed and I start to think, "What were they doing to have their fingernails so dirty?": "Were they fixing a car? Were they in some mud fight? Were they digging the many orifices of their bodies, namely their nose, their ears or their butts?" The fact that I waste my time thinking about why their fingernails are dirty further aggravates this negro, I can be thinking about better stuff dammit! Oh and when wearing slippers clean you toenails! Get all that dirt out because people's eyes will naturally go towards your toes! Let them see something nice!
2) CURSING FOR EVERY LIVING THING- Sure everyone curses in their life at some time or the other. Personally, I verbalize when I'm unbelievably angry and frustrated- believe me yuh have to come real good to hear me cuss! But there are some people out there that curse for the hell of it- "Oh look I can use the F- word." I once had this conversation with a guy and I swear every sentence he used had some form of verbalizing. I mean, really? Are you that limited in your thought processes that you can't think about another adjective, noun, verb or pronoun that you can substitute for a cuss word? What's even worse is that I usually end up verbalizing because by the end of the conversation I'm so frustrated.
3) ALCOHOLICS- I know people that drink alcohol and they're my friends, what I have a problem with is people who abuse alcohol and expect the people they're liming with to take care of you. Imagine you go out for a night on the town with some friends, and one friend decides he/ she wants to contest the prize for 'Best Drinker in Town'. They drink and drink and drink some more; then, they can't stand up, they talk a pack of nonsense, and they vomit all over the place. DID I COME OUT OF MY HOUSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR DRUNK ASS? NO, I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT! Come on man, why must you be a burden on someone else? I want to enjoy myself too, but I can't if I have to help you home and help clean vomit and listen to your crap. I usually end up doing these things because I'm the 'nice one'.UGH!
4) USING THE TOILET WHILE I'M BATHING- For me, bath time is my time to relax and think. Thus, I find it infuriating, disgusting and highly disruptive to my bath time when someone decides to take a dump while I'm bathing. Can you imagine being in an enclosed area with little ventilation and having to smell flatulence mingled with Protex Oats?(my preferred brand of soap) GOSH MAN! HOLD IT IN NAH! Five minutes is all I'm asking for!
You know what, just doing this blog has brought up all these experiences of extreme annoyance and now, I'm ANNOYED. So settle for four pet peeves, I'm going to do some breathing exercises before I buss a vein in my head. Direct all feedback to my Facebook account or email@example.com. Please come again!