Puente Trip: Neiva and San Agustín, The Series- Part 2: SAN AGUSTÍN

On to the next town people...... San Agustín also located to the south of Colombia boasts picturesque mountain landscapes where history and eco- tourism are alive.

The day was Saturday 13th November, 2010, the place was the Bus Terminal in Neiva, the time was 2:30AM and I was sleeping on myself like a drunken old man. What happened was that we wanted to take the 2AM bus from Neiva to San Agustín because we wanted to have an entire day of adventure in SA. Being the smart people we are, we decided to do an all nighter, go straight to the Terminal and sleep on the bus. The 2AM bus didn´t come on time and thus, I was sleeping on myself in the people Bus Terminal. Finally, about minutes to four the bus showed up and by this time I was extremely tired, annoyed and grumpy. There´s nothing to say about the bus ride except that I slept for five hours under a thin coverled on an airconditioned bus.

I was awaken by a woman´s voice asking for the coverleds and announcing that we were in San Agustín. With sleep still evident on my face and "yampy" in my eye I had my first view of SA- lush, green mountains against a clear blue sky- simply marvellous! Suddenly, this guy comes out of nowhere and starts talking to us. I immediately entered a state of "pissivity" because I had just got up and it was too early to be talked to in Spanish by this really annoying fellow who had us standing there for like five minutes. Looking back at that incident, I could understand why he was so... ahm, enthusiastic about us renting his horses. Tourism is the main source of income for people in this town, he was just doing his part to ensure that his family had food on the table. So Enrique* (not his actual name), Garvin´s World salutes you and your work ethic!

With Enrique behind us, we made our way to El Jardín/ The Garden, a quaint hostel where you pay 12,000 pesos a night to rest your head. On entering the hostel, I noticed that the courtyard was filled with an array of plants and colourful flowers as well as some noisy birds- I think they were parrots- in a cage. The owner of the hostel was a short woman who seemed to be well mannered and pleasant. She carried us to our room which had six beds and a private bathroom. It was really cozy albeit a little small with scratchy sheets, a door that wouldn´t lock properly and the little "towel" they gave to all occupants. As we were settling in, Olga- our friendly, neighbourhood tourist actitivy planner person- graced us with her presence. A squat lady with short hair and toes that hung over her shoes with a face that screamed, "I LOVE MONEY!" Olga´s main purpose was to tell us about the fun activities we could do and to organize said activities for us. The activity for Day One would be a Jeep Tour and the activity for Day Two would be a Horseback Tour.

The Jeep Tour cost us 30,000 pesos each and Olga busied herself with the preparations. As we were waiting for the jeep to arrive, we had the pleasure of meeting Ray, a retired Norwegian viking. Ray actually knew where Trinidad and Tobago was, having been there himself and he would be going on the tour with us, so why not be amicable? Ray was a really cool, entertaining guy and I liked the fact that he had travelled to different Latin American countries, something that I would like to do one day. Ray spoke only a few words of Spanish and it was hysterical the way he tried to communicate with the natives. However, Ray´s views were very Euro- centric in that he believed that everything was better in Europe and he had no problem voicing his opinions. One would think that if everything was better in Europe he would travel within Europe. Anywho, enough about Ray, I should talk about the Jeep Tour and what I saw before this blog post goes on FOREVER!

The first stop on the Jeep Tour was the Río Magdalena, the biggest river in Colombia that runs through a lot of cities. We visited what you would call a stretch of the Magdalena where one could take photos, climb on the rocks and just take in nature´s beauty. I really wanted to take a swim but my friends pointed out that that would be almost impossible given the fact that the river probably has some really strong currents. Ah well, it was just wishful thinking. The second stop was an Archaeological Park where we had the opportunity to see some tombs from the times of the indigenous peoples that occupied the region. In the museum itself, there were different relics from the indigenous times as well but what really stood out to me was a mural that was painted on the wall of the museum. The mural depicted the lives of the indigenous, before and after the arrival of the Spanish. Basically, at the beginning of the mural one could see that the indigenous lived a life in harmony with nature, worshipping their statues and being happy. As the mural progressed it depicted the lives of the indigenous and of course, the eventual arrival of the Spanish. The artist used fire, blood, tears, skeletons, animals and men, all intermingled to show the destruction that the Spanish brought upon the indigenous peoples. I spent a long time looking at this image because it was so vivid and as a History student, I appreciated this piece of art for what it showed. The third stop on the tour was to another museum where we had to hike to the top of a hill- mountain. Hiking to the top was a pain but the view at the top was worth every drop of sweat. Words can´t truly describe how amazing that view was but a few come to mind like majestic, breath- taking and inspiring. We froliced under the San Agustín sun, taking photos, jumping around, enjoying life and looking at tombs and statues *insert moment of nostalgia* The last two stops were to two waterfalls, they were just as beautiful as everything else in San Agustín.

The tour ended at 6PM and we returned to the hostel. I felt so inspired and refreshed from my tour. There´s something about culture that enriches your life, makes you reflect on everything that you´ve been through and gives you impetus to go on and conquer the world. My next blog post speaks about one such "life changing" experience. Until next time!!!

Puente Trip: Neiva and San Agustín, The Series- Part 1: NEIVA

To the south of Colombia lies a little town called Neiva where the climate is very similar to the Caribbean, the people are warm, welcoming and wear short pants to school and ride motorcycles. *insert moment of nostalgia* Living in this town is a fellow Trinidadian English language assistant named Lisa* (not her actual name)
who was nice enough to invite us to her home away from home- props to you :D

The day was Thursday 11th, November 2010, the time was 5:30pm and the place was aboard the Coomotor bus on its trip to Neiva. I knew this bus ride would be an interesing one from the get go since five minutes into the trip the bus driver crashed into this guy knocking him off his motorcycle (Oh, the horror!) All "man jack"- Trinidadian and Colombian alike- got out of their seats and poked their head out of the windows to see exactly what happened to the poor guy (apparently macoing is universal). The icing on the cake was when the bus driver looked out the window and asked his co- pilot, "¿Lo cogí?" or "Did I hit him?" Well, I buss out one laugh, fully aware that this was not a laughing matter but then again I have my schizophrenic moments. I wanted to yell at the driver and tell him, "Of course you hit the guy! Did you think the guy just likes lying on the ground, holding his head with his motorcycle on its side?" Shock does make you ask some stupid questions yes but then again some people do that even without being in shock. Eventually, the whole commotion was taken care off and after thirty minutes in bumper to bumper traffic we were finally on the open road to Neiva.

One hour into the trip this aroma starts to creep through the bus. Apparently, Mr. Toilet decided that he wanted to grace us with his pungent smell and make our noses explode. Hours Two and Three were spent catching up on my "handsome" sleep, I mean all this- meaning the fineness that is Garvin- takes time and rest. By Hour Four I was hungry, restless with a numb butt and wanting very much to reach my desination. Hour Five was spent in wonder as the bus had stopped on this DARK, EERIE stretch of road quite similar to Wallerfield in East Trinidad to pick up some construction workers with their dusty slipper- clad feet. I mean, REALLY? Then I´m further shocked as the driver stopped again, this time to pick up a woman with a bread basket and a tub of gaseosas (soft drinks). Naturally, Ms. Lady started to walk down the aisles selling her products. I was perplexed because, 1) she looked really sweaty as though she had been sitting under a tree for ages, 2) her fingernails looked as though she had been digging in the various orifices of her body for the whole day, 3) her clothes were tight thereby accentuating all the rolls in her body and 4) her hair was loose and kinda dirty. I´m not scornful eh but when you have to buy something to eat from somebody you have to be careful. By Hour Six I had had enough of this bus ride and was over the moon when the bus slowed down and the co- pilot said, "¡Neiva!"

My first few moments of enjoying my first view of Neiva were cut short as an old man who had been on the bus with us went running behind the bus screaming, "¡Aye, Aye, Aye!" *insert giggle* Apparently, poor Gustavo* (not his actual name) had got off the bus to pee and took too long so he missed the bus. It was a sight to behold, poor Gramps running as fast as his old legs would carry him, yelling for the bus and the people in the Terminal laughing at him. I swear I only laughed as I was writing this blog post (starts to hear the lyrics of that song, "Teacher Percy say if you tell a lie, yuh goin´ to hell as soon as yuh die!"). What an ending to an interesting bus ride.

After two hours of sleep, I got up the next day for a little "tour" of Neiva as my friends and I accompanied our friend Lisa* to her University. The first thing I noticed was that the climate in Neiva was very similar to that of Trinidad except for the lack of breeze and unnatural humidity. My only problem was that after three months of cold, cold weather in Bogotá my body had started to acclimatise after three months meaning that the heat in Neiva was sooooooo unbearable at the beginning. I was sweating, hyper- ventilating and I was just out of my element, so much so that I was fishing for words when the students asked me questions. *Just take a moment to understand the GRAVITY of this situation. I, Garvin Tafari Parsons was at a lost for words.* It struck me how different Neiva was to Bogotá. The people are so much friendlier and so much more welcoming than the majority of people here in Bogotá. The "busetas" (little buses) cost 1000 pesos (cheap over here). More surprisingly was the fact that if every seat in the bus is occupied the people- Neivans, I suppose- don´t enter. Believe me after three months of being in a city where every bus is usually FILLED TO CAPACITY, this was a welcome surprise. Overall, it was just amazing being in another part of Colombia for the first time.

This post more or less focused on the bus ride to Neiva but the truth is that the majority of my trip was spent in San Agustín. The adventures from my two days in San Agustín would include three blogs. YIPPEE!!! God bless everyone :D

Puente Trip: Neiva and San Agustín Series

I LOVE me my LONG WEEKENDS!

This weekend I had the luxury of having four long days (Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday) to myself. So like any foreigner in another country, I packed my suitcase and left Bogotá to have fun with my fellow Trinis (love all yuh) and to seek adventure in another part of Colombia. Naturally, I have to share with you, my fellow readers the adventures I had during these four days. The problem is that sooooooo many things happened during my trip and it´s almost impossible to include them all in one blog post without boring you to DEATH- although my life is anything but boring- I should be considerate to your needs.

As usual, I had a BRILLIANT idea and decided to create a series of blogs to describe everything that happened. The series will be called, "Puente Trip: Neiva and San Agustín, The Series" and it will include about five blogs over the course of two weeks.

Hopefully, you guys would read the blogs in the series and share in my experiences. I´m EXCITED, are you?

I LOVE my Job!!

I have the GREATEST job in the world! I mean it from the bottom of my heart. No, I`m serious- I absolutely LOVE my job!

What´s not to love about a repetitious job? I mean I get to do the same thing from Monday to Friday, five hours everyday. You must be CRAZY if you`ll get bored and frustrated by all this in three months. I get to see the same people everyday and I get asked the same questions- "How are you?", "What did you do this weekend?", "Did you get enough rest?" and the million dollar question, "How are you coping with the weather?" Who needs excitement at their job? Who needs to feel the desire to get off their beds at 6AM in the morning to go to said job? Who needs to feel a sense of purpose at their job? Surely I don`t and that´s why I LOVE my job.

OMG, I absolutely enjoy teaching/ tutoring unenthusiastic students, the majority of which can be found at this University. They`re just so adorable with their Longman Dictionaries suitable for Secondary School level Spanish and their failure to understand that at the University level a higher level of work is required. They are a teacher`s DREAM! Going to classes is even more FUN, who wouldn`t want to stand in front a class explaining their heart out about a completely boring topic whilst trying to make the class interesting and have some students completely ignore you, others whispering about you and the rest looking at you with, "I am lost" evident in their facial expressions? I envy people that don´t have a job like this and in the words of Harry Potter after he was possessed by Lord Voldemort in the last few chapters of The Order of the Phoenix, "I feel sorry for you!"

The opportunity to work alongside some of the most deceitful people in Bogotá has always been a dream of mine. From their fake smiles to their mock concern for your well- being to their backstabbing ways- I LOVE it all. I mean if a woman can use a simple, fun Karaoke party as a means of having a student banned from entering "her" office again, she most definitely must be my hero, I can learn so much from her. I LOVE it here.

Oh and if you missed it, SARCASM was most definitely intended! Although it´s obvious that I "LOVE" my job, I must say that being in Bogotá is a great opportunity to broaden my horizons and improve my Spanish. I thank God everyday for this opportunity and Shubh Divali to all :D

Tricky Tricky Halloween

Woohoo, my trip to Bogotá is like a gift that keeps on giving me new experiences and last week was no different as I attended my first Halloween party.

Before I even thought about attending a Halloween party I had to come up with a costume. The problem was that Halloween fell on a month end and this Afro- Trinidadian had NO money to spend on a costume that I was only gonna wear once. As such, I had to resort to my creativeness that comes with being a Language student and make my own costume. I started to think about different costume ideas that I can put together with the clothes I had in my suitcases and a needle and thread. After a week of "ponderations" -yes, I know this is NOT a word- I had three finalists- a baby costume (cloth diaper with safety pins, a vest, a bib and a hat), Harry Potter (a black version)or a nerd (tight pants, white socks, mismatched shirt and tie, suspenders and glasses). Eventually, I decided on the nerd costume since I had most aspects of the costume and I kinda look like a nerd already. The only thing missing from my costume were the suspenders so I grabbed an old sweater from my suitcase, a pair of scissors and I got to work.

About two hours later with my suspenders sewn onto my pants and my nerd costume complete (look to the top of the blog page for a visual), it was time to party. The party was GREAT, there was a Vallenato band, lots of Salsa music and of course, my favourite Reggaeton. I partied the night away with my fellow Caribbean langauge assistants who were dressed as an angel, a witch and a cowgirl. Oh yes, good times!

Another aspect of Halloween that I got to experience for the first time was the actual Trick or Treating. Sadly, Apt. 202 didn´t have one sweetie to offer the lil children from around the apartment complex. However, our lack of sweeties didn´t stop them from ringing our doorbell AND knocking the door several times apparently, they really wanted those sweets. Our dear, old land lady Maritza suggested that we turn off the living room lights so as to fool the kiddies into thinking that there was nobody at home. How mean! Luckily, they had some luck with our neighbours, whom I have never seen since I´ve been here, because I could hear them singing, "Tricky, Tricky Halloween. Quiero dulces para mi." OMG, if this isn´t the epitome of cuteness I don´t know what is!

Well, well, well I must say that my first Halloween was quite interesting. What shall I experience next in Colombia? You´ll have to keep visiting my blog to find out.

ZOMBIE!!!

Apparently, I had to travel to Colombia to have my first nightclub experience. 

During my second weekend in Bogota, the other assistants and I went to Club Zombie to provide moral support to one of our friends that had a gig at said nightclub. BIG UP SIMBA AMANI! All I can say- well, write- is, that night was a disaster!

When we arrived at the club, I immediately noticed the characters that were assembled outside. They looked as though they were channelling Eminem from that movie "8 Mile" with their baggy jeans, baggy T- shirts and their "one size fits all" caps (surprisingly, these "one size fits all" caps can never fit on my head, I wonder why?) I thought they were all thieves so I clutched my wallet ever so tightly. In retrospect, this should have been the first indication of how the night would turn out. Anywho, I paid the cover charge- $8000 pesos, which is like $24 TT- and entered the club.

The first thing I thought when I entered the club was, "Gosh, the music is horrid!" It sounded like Eminem meets Coolio meets DMX meets Daddy Yankee. In short, it was NOT dance worthy for us Caribbean people. But you should have seen the "8 Milers", they were jumping, screaming, fist pumping, bopping their heads, and trying to be well, black and failing in EPIC fashion. As mentioned before, our friend had a gig so apparently he wasn´t the only artiste that was going to perform that night. There were these Colombian "rap" groups that started to appear on stage. Words can´t describe what they soounded like, it´s possible that a banshee´s screech would sound ten times better than them. They kept on yelling, "RAH, RAH, RAH!" and the worst part is the crowd was actaully cheering them on. Like, are we listening to the same music? If it weren't for Simba´s "upcoming performance", I probably would have left (I probably should have left when this thought entered my mind given what happened next).

So there I am, sitting amongst my Caribbean peeps eagerly awaiting Simba's performance and I notice that there are police officers in the club, moving through the crowd and asking questions. Well, yours truly was instantly bummy. I mean, I had nothing to be afraid of since I didn´t have any nose candy on me, but then again, is BABYLON! Well, you know how we Caribbean people FAST and PARANOID; everybody breaking dey neck to see what´s going to happen next and others were panicking. Mr. Babylon comes downstairs with a youngian in his custody- if you see the little girl- blonde hair, really slim with her mother´s milk still evident on her face. Obviously, she was a minor in an adult club, drinking alcohol, and going wild for Colombian "rap" with her friends. Well, who tell she do that?- they throw she ass in the police van and within minutes another police van and some motorcycles arrived at the club. 

AA, well if you see thing, the officers called up the manageress in all her glory, dressed like a lady in a yellow pum-pum shorts and a bikini top. Now, I have no idea what they were saying but after the conversation the patrons heard an announcement from the DJ, "Club Zombie is closed for the night and the police want that everyone leave!" Well every Tom, Dick and Harry left the club and assembled outside whilst Ms. Yellow Pum-Pum Shorts got thrown into the van next the girl. It seemed as though the police were going to lock up the club´s employees as well because I noticed the bouncer walking, well running in the opposite direction- go figure!!! So, my first club experience ended in disaster- I didn´t get to dance, I didn´t get to see Simba perform and I was standing outside in the cold, reading the "Closed Until Further Notice" sign and feeling unbelievably unsatisfied with my experience.

The funny thing is that the following week I found myself in Zombie AGAIN!! Apparently, the manageress felt bad about Simba not performing and decided to give him another gig. This time the club seemed to have undergone a face lift, everything was different. The bouncer was new, the price was reduced, the crowd was different and the music was PHENOMENAL- I mean they played a Shurwayne Winchester!!! Simba was great as well, I mean what else do you expect from a Trinidadian? As for myself, I danced the night away, well until about 2ish when all Colombian clubs close!!

I know I haven´t been blogging a lot but I´ve been unbelievably busy working and adjusting to life here. But come next week, there´ll be another post so, hold on tight and come again!!!

Lessons Learned During Week One in Bogotá

BRACE YOURSELVES PEOPLE, THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE. 

As you guys know- if you didn't know, then you're obviously living under a rock- I've been in Bogotá, Colombia for little more than a week now. Gosh, I've been having a good time! The culture here is so different, and naturally, I've had to adapt and in adapting, things are learned. This post traces important things that have happened to me during my first week and what I've learned, thus far.

Lesson Número 1: Bogotá is COLD. I mean, ever since I decided to apply for this program, everyone that has been to Bogotá told me that it was cold. I was even asked in the interview, how I would deal with the cold. Thus, I had a general idea of what the temperature would be like in Bogotá. But, hearing and experiencing something are two mutually exclusive things. The understanding of how cold it was really hit me when I exited the airport in Bogotá, and a cold breeze blew, making my whole body shake. Sadly, this wasn't my last 'cold, culture shock'. I arrived at the apartment where I would be staying to see five 'coverleds' of varying thickness on my bed- a fitted sheet, a normal sheet, two knitted blankets and a quilt. To those five, I added a sheet and a blanket of my own. One can only imagine how cold it was for me that night, I felt like knives were piercing my skin, chilling me to the bone with my balls retreating between my legs in search of heat.. "AY DIOS!" To top it all of, that night I needed to use the toilet for number two purposes and I sat my bare butt on the toilet seat only to feel the cold seat on my legs. My poor balls! Haha! Luckily, after a week, I think I'm getting accustomed.

Lesson Número 2: Most people in Bogotá have a wicked sense of style. They wear every look here- preppy, emo, glam rock, punk rock, bohemian, the 'motorcycle leather' look, the 'normal' look, the 'I'm on drugs' look, I mean, EVERY look. Plus, they actually look great rocking these different styles. And OMG, Colombian jeans are the bombdiggity. I mean, they stitch the jeans in such a way that it accentuates the best parts of your body. Gosh, I need to buy myself some Colombian jeans, so when I come back to Trinidad, all eyes will be on me.

Lesson Número 3: The lady I live with is a disingenuous, deceitful little _________ (fill in the blanks). So, the first few days here she was the epitome of nice- she made breakfast for us the first day, offered to take us dancing, and talked with us in a jovial manner. It's about here that I should have noted her sing song voice; Mummy always says that sing song voiced, overly sweet people are the most deceitful- case in point Professor Umbridge from HP. Anywho, about the third day inside, Madam sat us down and gave us one set of 'house' rules to live by. For example, she doesn't want us to invite other Colombians to the house because she doesn't trust them meaning she thinks that they're thieves- talk about a double standard. I mean, she man comes by the apartment every weekend for sex- guess who locks their suitcase everyday before they leave the house? I mean, she is a Colombian! She also told us that we can't have girlfriends because Colombian women are dangerous and we have to clean the apartment every eight days. The thing that put the icing on the cake for me happened last Saturday. 

During the meeting where she laid down the law, we asked about the groceries and we understood that we can use the groceries in the apartment and replace them as they run out. I can't cook much, so every morning is fried egg with something. Saturday morning we were doing the usual fried egg, all happy and crap. Then, Maritza came in:

"Muchachos, do you like the cinema?"- she asked.

"Sure!"- we answered.

"Well, Tuesdays and Thursdays are the most economical days to go to the cinema."- she informs us and then, "Are those MY eggs you're using? Have you been using MY eggs?"

"Yes!"- I answered, a baffled look on my face.

"Well, I prefer that you don't use my eggs because Jose (she man) bought me those eggs- apparently they special- and he was wondering who was eating them."- she said.

All yuh, I buss out one laugh! I was so shocked, confused, and in awe that this big woman standing here telling me, don't touch she egg. EGGS all yuh, EGGS that are easy to buy. The thing is we were going to re- buy her eggs that evening given the rules about supplementing the groceries, but she has no patience and the egg have a place in her heart. Well papa, now self I not eating no egg during my stay in Bogota. Mad people living at that apartment complex in Calle 25 oui! 

Lesson Número 4: The transportation system in Bogotá is so much more advanced than Trinidad. They have huge highways with crossovers at different intervals, not like the ONE CROSSOVER Trinidad has by Pasea on the Highway. They have an amazing bus system called the Transmileno, which operates like a train system, with different stations along whatever routes the bus takes. The bus has it's own lane on the highway, meaning it's really fast and you can reach another part of Bogota in like one hour, which is a short time considering Bogotá is like three times to size of Trinidad. Oh gosh, ah love it!!! The only fault is that it's always PACKED with people, jamming up on you, pushing you to get out the bus, and what not. But, one good Trini cut eye and they know they better say, "Lo siento" if they mash yuh.

Lesson Número 5: Drivers in Bogotá are SO IMPATIENT. My first day in Colombia, I almost got bounce three times, almost fell down in a bus, and almost fell out of said bus when I had reached my destination. The drivers of the little 'busetas' (something like maxis) don't wait for you to sit down before they start to drive, they don't wait for you to come off the bus slowly, you literally have to jump out the bus and taxi drivers will run you over if you don't cross the streets quickly IE run across the road like a wild horse, screaming "Oh gosh, doh bounce meh!" I always have to be careful and extra vigilant because I don't want to call Sagicor and cash in on my life insurance policy. Ah have to return to Trinidad in one piece.

Lesson Número 6: Learning Spanish in a classroom and actually, speaking it on a daily basis with natives that are not your teachers is not easy. The first day I was here, oh my word, I felt like I now started to study Spanish in Form One. I was horrid, I said nothing until the next day when I felt comfortable and more capable of doing this. The prayers did help as well. It's easier now, but I still have a ways to go before I'm at the level that I want to reach.

The final lesson I learned is that I miss my family and they miss me. I really love them and I'm going to make them proud beyond their wildest dreams. Until the next adventure my dear readers, love you guys. 

Garvin signing out from Colombia.